There are times in a relationship when you feel as if your boyfriend doesn’t really care as much as he did in the beginning. You’re not alone. Plenty of women feel this way, or experience this, and, quite frankly, it can be a terrible feeling.
There are probably a lot of questions running through your mind, like, “why did he stop caring?” or “Did I do something wrong?” There can be many reasons why your boyfriend may be acting this way, and if you want to know how to make your boyfriend want you more, then here are a few tips and tricks to serve as stepping-stones to a better relationship.
First, before you set out in an effort to make your man want you more, you’re going to have to keep your emotions in check. Consider this: If it seems like your boyfriend isn’t wanting you as much as you would like, it can really wreak havoc on your emotions.
Sometimes women go through a downward emotional spiral wondering why they aren’t good enough and they begin drowning in feelings of inadequacy. The feelings of not being enough are almost poisonous, leading to feelings of self-loathing and a loss of self-esteem.
The problem with this downward spiral of emotions (beyond the fact that it’s just downright terrible to feel that way) is that your negativity, depression, and bluesy mood is bound to prove a HUGE turn off for your boyfriend.
Thus, he ends up wanting to be with you even less, which is in direct opposition of what you want, but it’s also what triggered the downward spiral of emotions you are experiencing in the first place. It is, indeed a vicious circle, one you must break free of if you are going to improve the status of your relationship.
It’s time for you to stop chasing, stop talking, and stop squeezing. If you want him to be the one doing the chasing, then you have to stop being the one who is. If he sees that you’re willing to do all the work, then he’ll stop trying as hard to chase you.
If you are too clingy with him, the harder he will try to get away, and not want to be around you. Space and trust are two big key issues in a relationship, and if you never have either then there’s no relationship. Not only will there be no relationship, but he won’t be as interested in you anymore either.
You want to move forward in a relationship not backwards. Odds are you’ve probably talked his ear off with your feelings towards these issues, and guys have trouble with feelings sometimes, especially if you repeat the same things over and over again. It’ll grow old quickly, and so will his feelings towards you.
Always remember that men are hunters by nature, and it really can be all about the thrill of the chase. If you don’t give him a chance to chase you from time to time, the hunt is over. Make your relationship more attractive by making it challenging: make yourself less accessible all the time and you’ll soon see him doing everything he can in his power to win back your attention.
To have him start the chase again you have to give him space, give yourself space, and take perspective. Sometimes you need to just take some time to yourself. Giving each other space for a week or weekend, can light a spark again. The space will cause him to miss you, because he’ll be so used to having you around that when you’re not, he’ll feel empty and want to talk to you and see you.
Whatever you do, don’t be dramatic about the space. Making it casual doesn’t make you look desperate for the attention. It’ll make it seem like you just rather have some time yourself, rather than looking like a drama, attention seeking queen, and no one wants that. Don’t try to text him saying you love or miss him.
This doesn’t mean don’t talk to him at all, but only call and make it brief to show you can talk to him without blubbering about him or your feelings and to just let him know you’re okay. You want him to initiate the text first, because you want him to do the chasing.
This won’t mean he’ll show up wherever you went to, but this method will allow you to clear your head and have time to think about things, and it’ll provide him the space he needs as well.
It’s time to get a life. Now that you have taken space to yourself, and cleared your head. Also don’t tell him you missed him unless he says it first. Remember you want him to be attracted to you again, and don’t be surprised if he doesn’t show it right away.
Start getting in touch with your old female friends, or any friends you used to hang out with and get in on a little girl time. Tell them you need to start getting out more, and don’t do this because you want him to chase you again, do it because you deserve to be happy. This will help him feel more attracted to you again, because he’ll start seeing that you’re the girl he fell in love with before.
Next you have to let him be himself. If you get to be you, then why can’t he be himself? It doesn’t give him a right to be mean, no one deserves that, but if he’s into something different, let him have that space and the time to enjoy himself.
Make things about him. If you’re there for him, it shows that you care. Like if he has a bad day, you can be there for him and let him talk about his feelings, don’t always make it about yourself. A relationship is a two way street.
Let things go. If your relationship is starting to get better, then let the past go, don’t hold onto it, and let it hurt him. You can’t use his past as a weapon against him that’s not right or fair. In fact, if you are constantly beating him over the head with everything he’s done wrong in the relationship, you’re not going to be too much fun to be around are you?
You want him to want you more, you don’t want him running for the door every time you go off on a tangent and start screaming at him for some mistake he made two years before. Happy relationships require a certain level of forgiveness and understanding. After all, he is a man – your man – and that makes him human and prone to error. Demonstrate more patience, and while you must always demand that you are respected in a relationship, you have to be at the ready to offer the same level of respect to your man.
Remembering these simple tips can make a relationship regain spark and romance again. Always make sure that you’re not making it a one-way street, and that the relationship is always 50/50. Because without love, trust, and respect for one another, there’s nothing at all.