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How To Talk Dirty To A Guy (Without Feeling Like a Slut!)

“Talk dirty to me.” Whether whispered or shouted, these four words spoken in the bedroom can cause a variety of reactions.

A man may feel turned on if spoken by a woman; a woman may feel disgust if spoken by a man, and vice versa.

A gender difference sometimes seems to play a part in whether sexually explicit language is a turn-on or turn-off; it is generally accepted that men are the ones who enjoy it more, perhaps because women are supposed to be more “pure.”

More importantly, though, are the values, level of sexual experience, and even personal self confidence of an individual that dictates whether or not someone enjoys it. Barring personal preference, it is a subject of some controversy and even fear.

Consider those persons who want to try it during sex play, to see if it adds some excitement to the routine, but are unsure of how their partner will react. An article on AskMen.com gives this advice: “It’s better to be safe than sorry so I strongly recommend that you start out by saying tamer things and with tamer language…and slowly moving on to the cruder lingo in time.”

This indicates that, from a man’s point of view, although perhaps the woman has instigated the dirty talk session, she doesn’t really want to hear something hardcore right off the bat. While this is good advice if you aren’t really sure of your partner’s preferences yet, it fails to take into account other factors.

For example, what if one partner finds dirty talking sinful and completely un-erotic? This may lead to frustration in the other partner at his/her partner’s unwillingness to experiment. At christianblogs.christianet.com, a confused woman asks this very question. “My husband has commented that he wants me to talk dirty to him while we are intimate. Is this a sin?” As you might expect, the answer vary widely.

In my experience, I have both initiated sexually explicit language in the bedroom, and also willingly went along with it when my husband started it. Though we do not always incorporate this into our intimacy, I find that when we do our experience becomes instantly hotter and more erotic; perhaps due to the fact that saying such things out loud feels so deliciously wicked.

It is human nature to want what we can’t have, and to want to do what we are not allowed to do. In the context of a normal day, sexually explicit language is simply not permissible in society, and perhaps that is why we find it so arousing.

I find that, as with everything else in life, it is only personal preference that matters the most; whether you are a man or woman, experience or not, confident or not so much, my advice is to go for it. It never hurts to try new things, and if you don’t like it, don’t do it!

Dirty talk can be a bit tricky. You don’t want it to sound forced, but you also don’t want to sound completely bizarre either. It’s because of those reasons that many shy away from it altogether.

Dirty talk has quite a few advantages, the two primary ones being that it helps you to open up more to your partner and it spices things up in the bedroom.  If you do, you may find that you’ve just taken yours and your partner’s sexual experiences to new heights.

10 Tips for Talking Dirty in the Bedroom

If you’re ready to do a little dirty talk, here are 10 ways to go about it that won’t make you feel ridiculous.

1. Practice via text

If you feel strange about jumping right into the dirty talk in person, start off slow by talking dirty via text. The best way to go about it is to send your guy a dirty text during the day while he’s at work. He’ll be thinking about it all day until he sees you. I’ve done this several times and it never fails to get the point across and get him home more quickly.

2. Set your boundaries

I’m all for dirty talk, but there is just some language I don’t want a guy using on me in the bedroom. I make sure the guy understands this well before we sleep together. You have to know what you are and aren’t comfortable with when it comes to dirty talk.

You don’t want your guy saying something you don’t like mid-romp that turns you off so bad that you just stop what you’re doing. Talk to him about it before, let him know where you stand and get his perspective as well.

3. Talk before sex, not during

Don’t talk to a guy about what you do and don’t like regarding dirty talk while you’re in the middle of having sex. For example, if you don’t like being called a certain term, don’t wait until he refers to you as such in bed, talk to him about it beforehand. If you bring it up at that exact moment, it’s only going to turn both of you off.

4. Give him directions

“Harder,” “Faster.” and “Don’t Stop” are three of the easiest and best directions you can give a guy in bed. Even the most shy ladies can pull off saying those phrases without feeling uncomfortable. Many guys actually like getting some form of direction and if you utter the three aforementioned phrases, he’s not only going to take it as you giving him insight about what to do, but also as a sign he’s doing the right thing.

5. Be weary of the fantasies

Some fantasies should just never be uttered to your guy, especially not in bed. For example, if you think your guy’s best friend is extremely hot and your fantasy is to have the two of them in bed with you, there’s a fairly good chance your guy isn’t going to be happy about that. When you’re using your fantasies as a way to dirty talk in bed, just be careful about which ones you verbalize.

6. Curse

I rarely curse on a day-to-day basis. In bed, however, it’s a different story. Many guys love when a woman rarely or never curses out of the bedroom, but lets the four letter words fly during sex. If you’re feeling a bit shy about the dirty talk, utter a few curses at the appropriate time and it’ll go over extremely well.

7. Give compliments

Guys love compliments even if they don’t always show it. Combine some compliments with dirty talk by telling him how amazing he is and how hot he looks and it’s only going to make him work that much harder to please you as well as give him an ego boost.

8. Don’t force it

One of the worst things you can do when trying to talk dirty is to force yourself. It has to come naturally or it’s going to come off awkward and as though you’re trying too hard. You don’t have to be a master of dirty talk right away. Take it slow and build up your confidence.

9. Change your tone of voice

You probably already know that trying to talk dirty in your normal voice isn’t going to do much, so you either want to raise the decibel or lower it. A low breathy whisper or raising your voice a few octaves is going to work well with helping you get your point across.

10. Alternate between verbal and non-verbal

As much as many guys love to hear a woman talk dirty in bed, almost all will say they’re a huge fan of moaning. Don’t just focus all on moaning or all on dirty talk. Alternate between the verbal and non-verbal and it’ll make for a good mix in the bedroom.

Although dirty talk can seem intimidating, there’s nothing to freak out about. You don’t have to dive in head first unless you’re comfortable doing so. Any guy is going to appreciate any little effort you make as far as that’s concerned and the more you give yourself time to get comfortable with it, the easier it’s going to be to do.

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